Are you fed up with receiving those Christmas Round Robin letters? The ones where Little Jasmine has managed 23 A*s at GCSE whilst her elder brother, Arthur, has been voted most popular pupil of the year - again. Well, Junk Male is the ideal Stocking Filler for the authors of such letters or for people who hate the letters as much as you do. Reading the story of Alasdair Roseman and his family through 27 christmas letters will make you wince, groan and laugh. Lots of illustrations too!

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says goodbye to childhood and enters adultery.Q: How can you prevent milk turning sour?A: Keep it in the cow.We rsquo;ve all been there. You rsquo;ve been studying hard, the day of the BIG test arrives, you turn over the paper, and lsquo;what the * amp;%@ does that mean?! rsquo; Not a clue. Some students, rather than admit defeat, choose to adopt a more creative approach to answering those particularly awkward exam questions. Packed full of hilarious examples, this book will bring a smile to the face of teachers, parents and students alike ndash; and anyone who rsquo;s ever had to sit a test.

Marking, planning, stealing colleagues rsquo; milk - teaching has always been a difficult job. Now, with this outrageous catalogue of teaching aids, the times educational miscreant shares his unique approach to many of teaching rsquo;s most taxing problems. Whether it rsquo;s marking coursework by weight with Coursework Scales, or planning lessons with the Page-Choosing Money Box, The Art of Teaching is an absolute must for the conscientious teaching professional. ISBN: 9781849533591

The F in Exams are over, the results are in and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the classroom hellip; BANG! It rsquo;s time for F in Retakes! Enjoy another heady dose of hilarious answers that canny students have given to the trickiest exam questions. F in Retakes is the fantastic follow up to F in Exams which has sold over 250,000 copies. Both books have featured in the Daily Mail.

Did you know hellip; hellip; that the oldest tree in Wales is a yew in Llangernyw in Conwy, thought to be around 4,000 years old? hellip; that London is also one of only three cities worldwide to have hosted both the Olympic and Commonwealth Games? hellip; that Ebenezer Place in Wick, Caithness, is officially recognised as the shortest street in the world, at a mere 206 cm (81 in.) in length ? From a Scottish waterfall three times the height of Niagara Falls to the last foreign invasion of Britain and the birthplace of the fi rst Oscar-winning Welshman, The British Isles: A Trivia Gazetteer brings together hundreds of remarkable facts and feats each pertaining to a different location from across Britain and Ireland. As much an accessible and informative reference book as it is an entertaining miscellany, it aims to expand our knowledge of these extraordinary islands while uncovering and celebrating some ...

Brilliant Britain is an entertaining journey through the quirks, oddities and idiosyncrasies that define our nation and preserve us from the mundane and predictable, such as: bull; the royal pomp and pageantry of the State Opening of Parliament and the less well-known swan-upping; bull; unusual sports and pastimes, from bog snorkelling to worm charming; bull; annual countrywide events including the May Day festivities and the beating of the bounds; bull; dialects and slang, provincial foods and a recipe for the perfect chip butty. This book lifts the lid on a rich heritage of eccentricity and diversity, exploring all that makes Britain brilliant.

ldquo;Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be an ugly brawl. rdquo; Frederick the Great ldquo;I am the Flail of God hellip; If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. rdquo; Genghis Khan ldquo;Everyone rsquo;s a pacifist between wars. It rsquo;s like being a vegetarian between meals. rdquo; Colman McCarthy From Churchill to Sitting Bull, and from Agincourt to the Khyber Pass, history is rich in rousing rhetoric, inspiring quotations and heroic speeches from the most celebrated military leaders, writers and observers. Whether applauding great victories or standing firm against the horrors and injustices of war, the quotations and stories of this collection will take the reader on a roller-coaster ride through the many unique experiences of military history.

A stitch in time saves nine. Proverb THRIFTY ADVICE FOR FRUGAL FASHIONISTAS Don rsquo;t let being cash-strapped hold you back from becoming a fashionicon! This little book offers sage advice for the nimble-fingered and lightof pocket on how to get the best out of your outfits and turn tired garmentsinto shiny new favourites. With tips on mending, upcycling and secondhandshopping interspersed with witty quotations, this is an essentialaddition to your wardrobe.

It rsquo;s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrowntomato. Lewis Grizzard WISE WORDS FOR GARDENERS The World War Two slogan is still pertinent in these thrifty times as morepeople than ever are turning to self-sufficiency and growing their ownfruit and vegetables. This little compendium is packed with tips and hintson how to make the most of your garden along with witty quotations tohelp you to dig for victory.

Did you hear about the teacher who was cross-eyed?He couldn rsquo;t control his pupils. Why did the duck cross the road?Because the chicken needed a day off. Prepare to have your ribs tickled, your funny bone waggled and your legpulled with this hilarious bumper compendium of jokes for all the family.From cracking one-liners and knock-knock jokes to classic themes such aslight bulbs, chickens crossing the road and men walking into bars, thereare laughs aplenty for everyone!

Teacher: lsquo;What did the Israelites do on coming out of the Red Sea? rsquo; Boy: lsquo;Dried themselves, sir. rsquo; A gentleman is a man who gives up his seat to a lady in a public convenience. School Yarns and Howlers takes you back to those happy schooldays, when headmasters wore a cap and gown, maths was learned the hard way and mischievous boys and girls got up to lsquo;high jinks rsquo; in the classroom. This delightful book brings together frightfully funny yarns and classic lsquo;schoolboy errors rsquo;, including everything from silly exam answers to harebrained classroom conversations, all tinged with the quaint and cheerful humour of a bygone era.

If your vocabulary is more Bart Simpson than the Bard, then take comfort inthis cracking, all-new, fun-size dose of F in Exams, containing some of themost spectacular howlers from school English exams.

If you don rsquo;t know a cold war from a cold sore, then take comfort in this cracking, all-new, fun-size dose of F in Exams, containing some of the worst howlers from school history exams.

If the thought of science exams conjures up the memory of singeing your left eyebrow on a Bunsen burner, then take comfort in this cracking, allnew, fun-size dose of F in Exams, containing some of the most glorious howlers from school science exams.

I think the Rorschach family next door look lovely, but my flatmate thinks they look like church-burning Satanists. Weird. I just killed a mouse. It was a copycat murder. My friend said he rsquo;d give me pound;100 if I did a bungee jump. I wasn rsquo;t falling for that Since 2011,the mysterious figure known only as Sixth Form Poet has attracted over 50,000 followers on Twitter with his offbeat, witty and punladen observations on modern life. This collection brings together the best of his pithy one-liners and whimsical poems, brought to life with Tom McLaughlin rsquo;s quirky illustrations. Dive into Sixth Form Poet rsquo;s world ndash; after all, as he says, lsquo;It would be so cool if I had lots of fans. rsquo;

UFO for Sale Pick-Pocketing Course National No-Breathing Day Turn Your Mouse into a Celebrity Amuse Agents brings together a collection of bizarre hoax advertisements placed in shop windows around England by guerrilla advertiser Preston Likely. From Olympig Games to Genuine Fake Radiohead Autographs, this surreal and subversive assortment gives an unforgettable spin to the everyday art of window-shopping.

ldquo;Don rsquo;t let ageing get you down. It rsquo;s too hard to get back up. rdquo; John Wagner You might not be a spring chicken any more, but that doesn rsquo;t mean you shouldn rsquo;t keep on strutting your stuff! Stay young at heart and see the lighter side of getting older with this collection of funny and uplifting quotations from those who have been there, done it and got the sensible shoes.

Jack brort a cak to school and we all had a pis Captin Cok was a famos exploder I found a spare seal so I quickly sat on it Children are at their funniest when they are trying to be serious, and theirearnest attempts at mastering the English language are a veritable goldmineof unintentional humour, from the charming to the ludicrous, and from theprofound to the downright X-rated. Enjoy this side-splitting collection ofspelling slip-ups and homework howlers.

On Love: lsquo; You get shot with an arrow or something, but it rsquo;s not meant to be aspainful after that. rsquo; The Lord rsquo;s Prayer: lsquo;Our Father which aren rsquo;t in heaven hellip; Halloween be thy name... Deliver usfrom email hellip; rsquo; A dolphin: lsquo;He rsquo;s a slippery creature that breathes out of his arsehole on the top of hisface. rsquo; The world is a confusing place, especially for little ones, and their innocentobservations and questions can often be side-splittingly hilarious. Theycan also be a tiny bit embarrassing if you rsquo;re, say, behind an elderlygentleman at a busy checkout and your little angel asks you... Is that manall wrinkly because he rsquo;s been in the bath too long?

lsquo;The most sincere love of all is the love of food. rsquo; George Bernard Shaw TASTY ADVICE FOR BRITISH BAKERS Sumptuous scones with jam and clotted cream, lemon drizzle cake, Victoriasponge and brandy snaps ndash; just a few of the sweet treats that get Britishtaste buds tingling. So whether you rsquo;re a bread boffin or a pastry pundit,put on your apron, dig out the mixing bowl and start the oven because it rsquo;stime to go baking mad. Here rsquo;s a book packed with recipes and quotations that will sweeten yourday as you bake your country proud.